Dignity is for republicans.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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