He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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