Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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