Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
