He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
