she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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