your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
