its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
