I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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