i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
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