Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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