So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
