Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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