Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
