I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
