Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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