I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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