Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize