these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
