she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
