I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Randomize
