You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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