Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize