the new term for farting is butt boxing.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Still dying that you shit outside
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
