if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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