I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You need a sexual gate keeper
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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