Pappa wants mamma naked
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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