He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize