K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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