I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I will be naked everywhere
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
And then he peed in my hair
The air taste purple.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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