I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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