I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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