Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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