I hope mine doesn't look like that
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
