she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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