Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Drunk is not a location!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
