I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize