if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
