I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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