I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
