so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
