in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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