I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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