what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
