Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
