I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
