Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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