I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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