dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
