even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize