you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i will never coherently bang her
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
