I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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