you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
