??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
