On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
