you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
