Quick, to the slutcave!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
