I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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