i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
