You just made me feel so damn special
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
