Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
