I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
then he tried to convert me to islam
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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