I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
