I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
