ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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