It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
